So here we are. Literally at the end of September and more than a whole year with online classes with DeVry. It's been a full year. more than i can say about some of the previous years. I know most people get sentimental at the end of December when the new year is rearing its face but why should i do that? Shouldn't we take a look back at our own accomplishments a little more often then once a year? I understand that there is a lot going on for most people, no reason not to celebrate or learn from what we have done.
So everyone lives in there own world this was more apparent to me last night when, with a couple friends had gone through our high school yearbook (campy and cheesy - I know), when our friend who hadn't graduated with us just pointed out how none of these people meant anything to him or mattered. This struck me a odd - how could he not know that that guy was awesome, or that girl really did have an amazing smile? This perception just jostled me into realizing that in all the things I've done - its all important. It's just all important to me. well it was important.
How can i make it matter to someone else? how can i explain my point of view, my logic on a situation? More importantly - why? why do i want someone to understand me and my experiences?
No one will understand all of me, or any of us for that matter. We are all an accumulation of experiences and we all have had different experiences at different times with different perceptions, emotional and physical impacts that change us forever. Whether we've been through the ringer with a crazy girlfriend or moved a lot as a kid - we are all different.
Good news is that i don't want anyone to understand all of me. It would be scary to think that someone could not only have the same thought process but the same emotional reaction to something. Besides what could you possibly learn from someone who has had the exact same everything as you? nothing.
Now while I possibly got you thinking it's time to do some mindless locust eradication.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Which are you?
It's Wednesday and it's really early I'm not quite sure what I hope to accomplish with this blog. I like to think that there is a goal and end product to everything we do but it's almost always more complicated than that. A blog doesn't make any money and if it did it would be highly commercialized and easily accessible. I've come to the concession that only a couple different types of people will read this and with varying degrees of interest.
A close friend who genuinely appreciates my opinions and thoughts.
An acquaintance who could be swayed to care or not.
A total stranger who will form an opinion of me based on what is here.
The biggest reason I started this blog was to chronicle the journey from someone who plays games as a hobby to ideally someone who is creating or helping to create new and exciting gameplay for you.
As I looked back on my journal entries I can say with confidence that this journey doesn't exactly seem like a straight line. Life seems to get in the way. However the best thing is that progress is being made and I definitely know more now about making games than I did a year ago.
While I may not be sharing gameplay ideas or new worlds with you( at the moment) know that I will have something to show you in the future and that may be the greatest thing I can share with you.
My ideas
A close friend who genuinely appreciates my opinions and thoughts.
An acquaintance who could be swayed to care or not.
A total stranger who will form an opinion of me based on what is here.
The biggest reason I started this blog was to chronicle the journey from someone who plays games as a hobby to ideally someone who is creating or helping to create new and exciting gameplay for you.
As I looked back on my journal entries I can say with confidence that this journey doesn't exactly seem like a straight line. Life seems to get in the way. However the best thing is that progress is being made and I definitely know more now about making games than I did a year ago.
While I may not be sharing gameplay ideas or new worlds with you( at the moment) know that I will have something to show you in the future and that may be the greatest thing I can share with you.
My ideas
Monday, September 12, 2011
To augment or not augment.....?
Recently I've managed to put a decent amount of time (actually a lot of time) into Deus Ex: Human Revolution and one of the most paramount aspects of this title almost begs you to take a look in the mirror and ask yourself whether or not you would sacrifice your humanity in order to be augmented. Now when i say augmented if mean being able to shoot explosives out of your arms or even punch through walls like the Hulk. Bet you changed your answer from a couple second ago. Adam Jensen, Our protagonist is the man who wields this crazy amount of power.
So this paradigm vividly reminded me of a gameplay device I used years ago in a DnD campaign. The basic idea then was that people were getting these psionic gem implants placed in and implanted into their bodies to enhance what they can do like Adam. In essence I had already used a system that is being used now but modified to fit the futuristic and cyberpunk themes. I felt empowered that I had done this and went to my various notebooks and ideas jotted down on post-its and index cards (what can i say I'm low tech) to see what other ideas could have new life breathed into them from a twist and some fresh perspective. I did come across a couple of ideas that made me really think and then i wondered what to do with them. I updated some thoughts in a new and hopefully organized notebook of inspired ideas and left it at that.
Today I come across this this that semi renews hope and is semi serendipitous at the same time. It really seems that I just need to take my ideas and start by applying them to what I know and love - Gaming.
The plan is now with my ideas in tow and the knowledge I have is to put them together like peanut butter and jelly.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
What the hell happened?
It seems like forever ago I wanted to make a regular habit of posting my thoughts here. However i believe that this is the first time in months that I've sat down and typed something out. One could be making excuses as per why such a thing didn't happen. While this didn't happen other things did.
"What things?" I can imagine you asking. Since I set up this monologue this way the things that did happen was
"What things?" I can imagine you asking. Since I set up this monologue this way the things that did happen was
- Re-applying for school loans and hammering out the financial details that bore and frustrate me
- Spending time looking at my current school schedule and pace at which I'll be accomplishing things and it honestly doesn't feel fast enough.
- Spending a good chunk of time at my new store making sure that awesome stays that way
- Reading The Omnivores Dilemma. I don't like being preached to about how i should morally feel about food. This book will make you take a really hard look at what you eat and where your food really does originate.
- Doing actual school work - a term paper on Obesity and American Culture (I'll give you a hint - we really don't have one)
- Going to Conference for a week in all this. Conference is essentially a great time except for the minimum amount of sleep and lack of actual food.
- 3D TV event with Sony at my store
- Sony Training
- Started and Finished Shadows of the Damned
WHAT?!? I played a video game and finished it?! Since i've started working towards my goal of becoming a form of game designer and programmer I've found myself with increasingly less time to actually play games. Kinda ironic and kinda moronic. I can't promise consistency with the blog but i can promise that i will be busy and when i do manage to have time to sit and post - That i will have something to say.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
What would Shepard do?
I've been having a hard time lately nailing down what I'm doing and how it helps me fit into the set of goals i have for myself. Whether or not those goals are obtainable and justifiable are 2 very different things. I read something, somewhere this weekend that "Goals need to be measured by results within a determined period of time" oohh a checkpoint I get that, totally. However after reading that I immediately though - "who is this douche to tell me how to get what i want?"
After several seconds I couldn't even put a sentence together of what I truly wanted. Happiness and real goals are moving targets - nothing is stagnant. I almost feel like making a set of goals is a different way to live not because of the words and the vision but because of the illusion of a future that it provides. Everyone has some set of goals either realistic or unrealistic. Some people wanna lose fat and others wanna lose weight - talking about those differences are another post.
In all forms of media we see characters with goals and the tale of achieving them. Even if sometimes those characters are us. Alot of questions can be asked of characters in these tales and can even cause one to reflect upon them in good company or alone. Did you ask yourself what kind of person you would be to the environment at the end of Avatar? Were you able to bring yourself to kill Wrex in Mass Effect? if you did you want to immediately reload your save? Did you really crave that revenge at the end of Red Dead Redemption?
Is it just simply escapism for some people? Is it a way to get from life decision to life decision without having all the drama in between? Something like Call of Duty and WOW screams escapism and i can't blame anyone for enjoying the crap out of them - I simply wonder on whether or not they are getting the most they can from their gaming. Or if they even care.
Especially in interactive media I find myself wondering what kind of goals make someone want to move forward and invest any more of their precious time into it. Games that force you to take a hard look at what you'd actually do in a situation is very close to looking in the mirror. Very few of us will ever find ourselves in the seat to make a decisions that affects a grand scale - but even the little things we do in life affect those around us, for good or ill. Sometimes I believe that life moves as fast as I want it to and that sometimes I'd rather not make any progress at all.
Who know what will happen and how the decisions you make affect it. As often as i think it would be wonderful to not have a 44+ hour work week and to focus solely on programming and game design, I think of those around me and the decision I would be making for everyone important to me in my life. What kind of Shepard do I want to be? I will figure out how to make everything work the way i see fit and so should everyone who has gotten to the end of this smattering of thoughts.
After several seconds I couldn't even put a sentence together of what I truly wanted. Happiness and real goals are moving targets - nothing is stagnant. I almost feel like making a set of goals is a different way to live not because of the words and the vision but because of the illusion of a future that it provides. Everyone has some set of goals either realistic or unrealistic. Some people wanna lose fat and others wanna lose weight - talking about those differences are another post.
In all forms of media we see characters with goals and the tale of achieving them. Even if sometimes those characters are us. Alot of questions can be asked of characters in these tales and can even cause one to reflect upon them in good company or alone. Did you ask yourself what kind of person you would be to the environment at the end of Avatar? Were you able to bring yourself to kill Wrex in Mass Effect? if you did you want to immediately reload your save? Did you really crave that revenge at the end of Red Dead Redemption?
Is it just simply escapism for some people? Is it a way to get from life decision to life decision without having all the drama in between? Something like Call of Duty and WOW screams escapism and i can't blame anyone for enjoying the crap out of them - I simply wonder on whether or not they are getting the most they can from their gaming. Or if they even care.
Especially in interactive media I find myself wondering what kind of goals make someone want to move forward and invest any more of their precious time into it. Games that force you to take a hard look at what you'd actually do in a situation is very close to looking in the mirror. Very few of us will ever find ourselves in the seat to make a decisions that affects a grand scale - but even the little things we do in life affect those around us, for good or ill. Sometimes I believe that life moves as fast as I want it to and that sometimes I'd rather not make any progress at all.
Who know what will happen and how the decisions you make affect it. As often as i think it would be wonderful to not have a 44+ hour work week and to focus solely on programming and game design, I think of those around me and the decision I would be making for everyone important to me in my life. What kind of Shepard do I want to be? I will figure out how to make everything work the way i see fit and so should everyone who has gotten to the end of this smattering of thoughts.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Monday's Part 2/Phoenix
Usually when there is a part 2 to something it is usually preceeded by the initial offering. Today was monday and the last post I created with "Monday" what somewhat of a moon or two ago sooooo..
This was a different kind of monday. Not because some giant title was being released the next day, or planning for a midnight launch or even hectic girlfriend/friend/people problems. It was different because I was somewhere different. Now I happen to tell lots of people that perception is 90% of everything. No matter how I try to look at today it's boiled down to different.
Today I had my first Monday in a brand NEW store. I'm in east moriches now and getting to know the people around me and what they are into and what the town is about. In all honesty I moved like 5 minutes away from my old store - It's still enough to create a new feeling. It almost rivals the excitement and nervousness of when I first got my own store. It's uncomfortable and keeps me on my toes - which is a good thing - I perceive myself as someone who doesn't truly do well in his comfort zone.
As I'm posting I realize that I completely missed the entire month of April. You didn't miss much, i was too busy with school, financial aid, meetings, socializing, seeing weird and awesome new things, discussing the possibilities of getting a new store and finally spending 60+ hours last week getting it ready with some of my closest peers. While I miss my free time, I actually feel like a phoenix risen from the ashes - with a chance to burn brighter than ever before.
This was a different kind of monday. Not because some giant title was being released the next day, or planning for a midnight launch or even hectic girlfriend/friend/people problems. It was different because I was somewhere different. Now I happen to tell lots of people that perception is 90% of everything. No matter how I try to look at today it's boiled down to different.
Today I had my first Monday in a brand NEW store. I'm in east moriches now and getting to know the people around me and what they are into and what the town is about. In all honesty I moved like 5 minutes away from my old store - It's still enough to create a new feeling. It almost rivals the excitement and nervousness of when I first got my own store. It's uncomfortable and keeps me on my toes - which is a good thing - I perceive myself as someone who doesn't truly do well in his comfort zone.
As I'm posting I realize that I completely missed the entire month of April. You didn't miss much, i was too busy with school, financial aid, meetings, socializing, seeing weird and awesome new things, discussing the possibilities of getting a new store and finally spending 60+ hours last week getting it ready with some of my closest peers. While I miss my free time, I actually feel like a phoenix risen from the ashes - with a chance to burn brighter than ever before.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Holy Busy-ness Batman!
I haven't update in over a week and that's due to a number of awesome and not so awesome things. First off we have Dragon Age 2 which has consumed a HUGE chunk of free time. Then we have the launch of something truly special the 3DS of which happened this past weekend coupled with over a dozen titles. Out of the gate Nintendo has already claimed some titles of which I'm sure there will be many more to come as we start to see the bigger games get released. For those of you who have yet to see it - it begs to be seen to truly be believed.
I would've purchased this console without the 3d effect as without it we simply have a DS2 or DS360 so to speak. The 3d effect does a couple of really great things for Nintendo. For starters it really encourages any user to share with friends and family and making it not only a system but a conversation piece. I've had many conversations since Sunday with everyone asking me "How does it work?!" "This is AMAZING". I haven't met someone who hasn't had a smile on their face the first time they experience it. ^.^
Personally at this point the most exciting part is the future potential that will come of this. From a game play perspective and from an ability to create a freshness for a series that has never been experience before. I see it as a great shame if some of the biggest publishers and developers out there don't take advantage of not only this opportunity to really bring back older series but to allow new game ideas flourish using the 3D in new and interesting ways.
Something happens when you finally look away from the 3DS after you sit down and play it for a bit. You start to wonder why everything isn't in 3D. What an interesting future we have in store for us.
I would've purchased this console without the 3d effect as without it we simply have a DS2 or DS360 so to speak. The 3d effect does a couple of really great things for Nintendo. For starters it really encourages any user to share with friends and family and making it not only a system but a conversation piece. I've had many conversations since Sunday with everyone asking me "How does it work?!" "This is AMAZING". I haven't met someone who hasn't had a smile on their face the first time they experience it. ^.^
Personally at this point the most exciting part is the future potential that will come of this. From a game play perspective and from an ability to create a freshness for a series that has never been experience before. I see it as a great shame if some of the biggest publishers and developers out there don't take advantage of not only this opportunity to really bring back older series but to allow new game ideas flourish using the 3D in new and interesting ways.
Something happens when you finally look away from the 3DS after you sit down and play it for a bit. You start to wonder why everything isn't in 3D. What an interesting future we have in store for us.
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