Power

I've been meaning to write this post ages ago as the thoughts had finally found an honest to goodness form.  Now this post has to do with many things and will not just focus on one or two things but the theme will be ever relevant.  Follow me here cuz this post is going to be riddled with tangents. 

Now have you ever thought about where power really comes from?  In this modern era of technology and politics it's a bit more vague then what our ancestors had dealt with.  In times before civilization and even when we had finally started em power was simply about strength.  Who was stronger? Who would win in a fight?  If you needed something you simply needed to be strong enough to take it.  Whether it be food or shelter. 

Fast forward a couple thousand years and then we start to truly frown on raw strength as a sign of power.  We begin to value real intelligence and the ability for people to learn to comprehend laws and why they exist.  Now power starts to shift from simply being able to claim a right to something to being able to figure out how to claim something minus the violence.  Now here's where things truly change:

Money.  Currency.  Trading. 

Now whenever any sort of exchange is made it sort of creates a tug of war between two people.  Each person is holding something the other wants yet negotiation is now taking place.  Negotiation is where the definition of power becomes more than blurry as now each person wields a certain amount of power over the other.  This post isn't going to be about that so we will visit it another time. 

In the above example we have a struggle and with that struggle we yield stress and therefore an emotional response.  Whether or not it's strong is not apart of this but there is always some sort of reaction.  In a transaction we will give in to someones desire to grab power from us. 

Think about your family and friends and loved ones.  Now think about all that you do for them on a daily basis and what they do for you.  Do you feel like everything is fair between everyone?  Do you feel like every equation is balanced according to your perception of them? 

More and more often i see people who are willing to yield their power to someone else due to emotional constraints.  People who are willing to give more than they can, or people who are willing make morally grey decisions based on the amount of power they yield.

 Now power at this point represents the ability to make decisions that make us happy with our lives.  From convincing yourself that your dead end job will get better or that your significant other will suddenly be different or that the bills will magically disappear.

Now why does anyone give up their power?  At the end of every day we need certain things to keep living.  Food, water, place to live and some form of social activity.  Why do people not even dare to wield their power? 

I can understand being afraid to make your own choices - for who wants to be actively responsible for fucking up their own life?  At the same time it was your own choice and not someone else.  We can all make claims to why have lost power but we can always make equal strides to try and gain that power back.  Without that ability life would suck and there would never be anything worthy of chronicling.  Many people seem to forget their own self worth as well as that everything passes with time.  Everything will change whether or not we want it to. 

Everyone should be glad to have what they do and never blame someone else for their mistakes.  No one is perfect and no one will ever wield power 100% responsibly.  We lose it because we don't respect it or don't respect the decisions we make with it. 

Power is part of what video games are so damn successful.  Without the power angle of games - even if we do or do not realize it - is a huge part of the appeal.  The ability to make a decision without actual consequences and yet can yield positive emotional results?  Sign me up too. 

On that note - To Star Wars: The Old Republic  I'm on the server Corellian Run with a Jedi Consular name Raikoh

1 Year and Perception

It's been more than a year since I started this - not knowing what i was going to write about and not knowing where this was going.  Yet here we are.  Between my sporadic postings and a year full of video game references and all the people I've met in between.  Lets also not forget plans to make and plans to break.  Hopefully I'll be able to announce something soon - just a matter of getting the details in order. 

On the School front I've been a student again for almost a year and a half.  It does not feel like that period of time.  Honestly the best part about having all my classes online is that i can take a real look at how I'm coming along.  Not just making mental notes and working my way around but actually seeing the progress that I'm making towards my goals.  It's awesome to login into class and see all the classes I've been apart of and all the people I'm made via school. 

Psychology is the new course I'm in now and I'm simply blown away by how much information truly exists on the topic.  Everything from the study of the how we perceive things ( one of my favorites) to how our minds and bodies process information (in which this only solidifies a stronger connection between my C++ studies and the way I think about interactivity).

I'm hoping that this next year will bring more to my life than ever before!  I can't wait to share it with the world!

Computer Applications for Business

So the past 7 weeks has been a ton of exciting and boring and frustrating and dull assignments in my Computer Applications for business class.  This class essentially breakdown the fundamentals of Microsoft Word, PowerPoint and Excel and really drills in concept complex and simple in nature.  I thought to myself at the beginning of this class that it would be "a breeze" and "how could i not know what was going on?"

I was wrong.  The beginning of this class was like the beginning of a rollercoaster.  Slow, agonizing even and not fun at all.  Then as the weeks flew by there was this steady incline of pressure.  Ideas flying past you as you reach the apex.  Finally last week happened.  I found myself struggling to get down all the aspects of Excel into this one assignment.  To be fair - I've honestly never used Excel before this class, Word and PowerPoint were at a point in time important to business and idea placement here and there. 

Excel kicked my ass.  Last week and not so much this week.  I won't let it get my lunch money again.  I write this blog post triumphantly and from standing on top of the bully I can clearly see that I haven't truly learned anything - yet. 

This is a quicky today and everyone should realize every once in a while that there is always something else to learn.  Also that anything worth doing is worth taking to time to do right 

Oh and there is this bit of excitement!!!!

Next time - Numbers and Gaming systems!

So many topics....

One of the things I hadn't taken the time to think about is that I would be spending time thinking about what to write about.  Now that i just re-read that sentence 8 times.  Topics seem to be easy and difficult to come across.  From something like your Birthday and recent happenings to very social and professional aspects of life.  I could just talk about this weeks new releases or my thoughts on Space Marine.  I could even talk about the Old Republic and it's mishap.  There is almost too much to talk about.

While all these things are relevant in the last week or so it's all about priorities.  From what I play first to what is even worth my time.  Time is money and there always seems to be a shortage in the gaming industry this time of year.  Sadly video games are not truly treated as a form of entertainment but are subject to the whims of the average toy.  Cramming it all into a small period and hoping for the best when the holiday shoppers come out with large amounts of capital to spend.  The truly frustrating part of this is that even if we take out some of the big releases that we still find ourselves overwhelmed with AAA games.

Here's what I have a problem understanding.  You're telling me that is Call of Duty was released in February that it wouldn't still be a world wide entertainment juggernaut?  Would Battlefield be any less in demand if it was released in August? There is little reason to lump huge titles so close to each other like this.  It seems like the industry is interested in gaining new people and keeping them interested but how can we do that when within weeks a purchase could be null and void by the new item on the market? 

So many people this week had to make a conscious choice of to get either Dark Souls or Rage - not both.    No one who lives an ordinary life has that kind of money and time to invest in getting both.  This isn't an isolated incident either.  Over the next 8 weeks so many people who might've purchased a whole slew of games will only choose a few based on money and time and so many of these titles will be pushed off till post holiday season purchase (when they should come out).

I understand that most companies in the entertainment industry as a whole make most of their money in the holiday season but gaming has grown beyond this and the industry has to make steps not to cannibalize is own business by etching out each other.  Competition is always good - but not when it hurts the sum of what could be. 

The End Of September

So here we are.  Literally at the end of September and more than a whole year with online classes with DeVry.  It's been a full year.  more than i can say about some of the previous years.  I know most people get sentimental at the end of December when the new year is rearing its face but why should i do that?  Shouldn't we take a look back at our own accomplishments a little more often then once a year?  I understand that there is a lot going on for most people, no reason not to celebrate or learn from what we have done.
So everyone lives in there own world this was more apparent to me last night when, with a couple friends had gone through our high school yearbook (campy and cheesy - I know), when our friend who hadn't graduated with us just pointed out how none of these people meant anything to him or mattered.  This struck me a odd - how could he not know that that guy was awesome, or that girl really did have an amazing smile?  This perception just jostled me into realizing that in all the things I've done - its all important.  It's just all important to me.  well it was important.

How can i make it matter to someone else?  how can i explain my point of view, my logic on a situation?  More importantly - why?  why do i want someone to understand me and my experiences? 

No one will understand all of me, or any of us for that matter.  We are all an accumulation of experiences and we all have had different experiences at different times with different perceptions, emotional and physical impacts that change us forever.  Whether we've been through the ringer with a crazy girlfriend or moved a lot as a kid - we are all different. 

Good news is that i don't want anyone to understand all of me.  It would be scary to think that someone could not only have the same thought process but the same emotional reaction to something.   Besides what could you possibly learn from someone who has had the exact same everything as you?  nothing. 

Now while I possibly got you thinking it's time to do some mindless locust eradication.

Which are you?

It's Wednesday and it's really early I'm not quite sure what I hope to accomplish with this blog. I like to think that there is a goal and end product to everything we do but it's almost always more complicated than that. A blog doesn't make any money and if it did it would be highly commercialized and easily accessible. I've come to the concession that only a couple different types of people will read this and with varying degrees of interest.

A close friend who genuinely appreciates my opinions and thoughts.

An acquaintance who could be swayed to care or not.

A total stranger who will form an opinion of me based on what is here.

The biggest reason I started this blog was to chronicle the journey from someone who plays games as a hobby to ideally someone who is creating or helping to create new and exciting gameplay for you.
As I looked back on my journal entries I can say with confidence that this journey doesn't exactly seem like a straight line. Life seems to get in the way. However the best thing is that progress is being made and I definitely know more now about making games than I did a year ago.

While I may not be sharing gameplay ideas or new worlds with you( at the moment) know that I will have something to show you in the future and that may be the greatest thing I can share with you.

My ideas

To augment or not augment.....?

Recently I've managed to put a decent amount of time (actually a lot of time) into Deus Ex: Human Revolution and one of the most paramount aspects of this title almost begs you to take a look in the mirror and ask yourself whether or not you would sacrifice your humanity in order to be augmented.  Now when i say augmented if mean being able to shoot explosives out of your arms or even punch through walls like the Hulk.  Bet you changed your answer from a couple second ago.  Adam Jensen, Our protagonist is the man who wields this crazy amount of power.

So this paradigm vividly reminded me of a gameplay device I used years ago in a DnD campaign.  The basic idea then was that people were getting these psionic gem implants placed in and implanted into their bodies to enhance what they can do like Adam.  In essence I had already used a system that is being used now but modified to fit the futuristic and cyberpunk themes.  I felt empowered that I had done this and went to my various notebooks and ideas jotted down on post-its and index cards (what can i say I'm low tech) to see what other ideas could have new life breathed into them from a twist and some fresh perspective.  I did come across a couple of ideas that made me really think and then i wondered what to do with them.  I updated some thoughts in a new and hopefully organized notebook of inspired ideas and left it at that.

Today I come across this this that semi renews hope and is semi serendipitous at the same time.  It really seems that I just need to take my ideas and start by applying them to what I know and love - Gaming.

The plan is now with my ideas in tow and the knowledge I have is to put them together like peanut butter and jelly. 

Before that happens I think I'll finish Deus Ex first......

What the hell happened?

It seems like forever ago I wanted to make a regular habit of posting my thoughts here.  However i believe that this is the first time in months that I've sat down and typed something out.  One could be making excuses as per why such a thing didn't happen.  While this didn't happen other things did.

"What things?" I can imagine you asking.  Since I set up this monologue this way the things that did happen was

• Re-applying for school loans and hammering out the financial details that bore and frustrate me
• Spending time looking at my current school schedule and pace at which I'll be accomplishing things and it honestly doesn't feel fast enough.
• Spending a good chunk of time at my new store making sure that awesome stays that way
• Reading The Omnivores Dilemma.  I don't like being preached to about how i should morally feel about food.  This book will make you take a really hard look at what you eat and where your food really does originate.
• Doing actual school work - a term paper on Obesity and American Culture (I'll give you a hint - we really don't have one)
• Going to Conference for a week in all this.  Conference is essentially a great time except for the minimum amount of sleep and lack of actual food.
• 3D TV event with Sony at my store
• Sony Training
• Started and Finished Shadows of the Damned

WHAT?!? I played a video game and finished it?! Since i've started working towards my goal of becoming a form of game designer and programmer I've found myself with increasingly less time to actually play games.  Kinda ironic and kinda moronic.  I can't promise consistency with the blog but i can promise that i will be busy and when i do manage to have time to sit and post - That i will have something to say.

What would Shepard do?

I've been having a hard time lately nailing down what I'm doing and how it helps me fit into the set of goals i have for myself.  Whether or not those goals are obtainable and justifiable are 2 very different things.  I read something, somewhere this weekend that "Goals need to be measured by results within a determined period of time"  oohh a checkpoint  I get that, totally.  However after reading that I immediately though - "who is this douche to tell me how to get what i want?"

After several seconds I couldn't even put a sentence together of what I truly wanted.  Happiness and real goals are moving targets - nothing is stagnant.  I almost feel like making a set of goals is a different way to live not because of the words and the vision but because of the illusion of a future that it provides.  Everyone has some set of goals either realistic or unrealistic.  Some people wanna lose fat and others wanna lose weight - talking about those differences are another post.

In all forms of media we see characters with goals and the tale of achieving them.  Even if sometimes those characters are us.  Alot of questions can be asked of characters in these tales and can even cause one to reflect upon them in good company or alone.  Did you ask yourself what kind of person you would be to the environment at the end of Avatar?  Were you able to bring yourself to kill Wrex in Mass Effect? if you did you want to immediately reload your save? Did you really crave that revenge at the end of Red Dead Redemption?

Is it just simply escapism for some people?  Is it a way to get from life decision to life decision without having all the drama in between? Something like Call of Duty and WOW screams escapism and i can't blame anyone for enjoying the crap out of them - I simply wonder on whether or not they are getting the most they can from their gaming.  Or if they even care. 

Especially in interactive media I find myself wondering what kind of goals make someone want to move forward and invest any more of their precious time into it.  Games that force you to take a hard look at what you'd actually do in a situation is very close to looking in the mirror.  Very few of us will ever find ourselves in the seat to make a decisions that affects a grand scale - but even the little things we do in life affect those around us, for good or ill.  Sometimes I believe that life moves as fast as I want it to and that sometimes I'd rather not make any progress at all.

Who know what will happen and how the decisions you make affect it.  As often as i think it would be wonderful to not have a 44+ hour work week and to focus solely on programming and game design,  I think of those around me and the decision I would be making for everyone important to me in my life.  What kind of Shepard do I want to be?  I will figure out how to make everything work the way i see fit and so should everyone who has gotten to the end of this smattering of thoughts.

Monday's Part 2/Phoenix

Usually when there is a part 2 to something it is usually preceeded by the initial offering.  Today was monday and the last post I created with "Monday" what somewhat of a moon or two ago sooooo..

This was a different kind of monday.  Not because some giant title was being released the next day, or planning for a midnight launch or even hectic girlfriend/friend/people problems.  It was different because I was somewhere different.  Now I happen to tell lots of people that perception is 90% of everything.  No matter how I try to look at today it's boiled down to different. 

Today I had my first Monday in a brand NEW store.  I'm in east moriches now and getting to know the people around me and what they are into and what the town is about.  In all honesty I moved like 5 minutes away from my old store - It's still enough to create a new feeling.  It almost rivals the excitement and nervousness of when I first got my own store.  It's uncomfortable and keeps me on my toes - which is a good thing - I perceive myself as someone who doesn't truly do well in his comfort zone. 

As I'm posting I realize that I completely missed the entire month of April.  You didn't miss much, i was too busy with school, financial aid, meetings, socializing, seeing weird and awesome new things, discussing the possibilities of getting a new store and finally spending 60+ hours last week getting it ready with some of my closest peers.  While I miss my free time, I actually feel like a phoenix risen from the ashes - with a chance to burn brighter than ever before.

Holy Busy-ness Batman!

I haven't update in over a week and that's due to a number of awesome and not so awesome things.  First off we have Dragon Age 2 which has consumed a HUGE chunk of free time.  Then we have the launch of something truly special the 3DS of which happened this past weekend coupled with over a dozen titles.  Out of the gate Nintendo has already claimed some titles of which I'm sure there will be many more to come as we start to see the bigger games get released.  For those of you who have yet to see it - it begs to be seen to truly be believed. 

I would've purchased this console without the 3d effect as without it we simply have a DS2 or DS360 so to speak.  The 3d effect does a couple of really great things for Nintendo.  For starters it really encourages any user to share with friends and family and making it not only a system but a conversation piece.  I've had many conversations since Sunday with everyone asking me "How does it work?!"  "This is AMAZING".  I haven't met someone who hasn't had a smile on their face the first time they experience it. ^.^

Personally at this point the most exciting part is the future potential that will come of this.  From a game play perspective and from an ability to create a freshness for a series that has never been experience before.  I see it as a great shame if some of the biggest publishers and developers out there don't take advantage of not only this opportunity to really bring back older series but to allow new game ideas flourish using the 3D in new and interesting ways.

Something happens when you finally look away from the 3DS after you sit down and play it for a bit.  You start to wonder why everything isn't in 3D.  What an interesting future we have in store for us.

Monday's

Somewhere between work, This beast, classwork, homework, and managing my personal life I've been trying to attain some mastery over creating video games.  I'm striving to be a game designer and am really looking at what makes things fun - and to who.  Sometimes I take a stroll through all the indie game on xbox live and stumble across a few gems that are just plain old fun.  It doesn't have to be pretty (ie check something like this), it also doesn't have to be all about violence (ie Something like this) It simply has to be enjoyable and understandable.

Somewhere when we were kids we had some of the best video game memories created by a plumber. with a racoon tail. who ate mushrooms to get bigger. to get to the end of a level.  To get one step closer to saving a princess.  Try to explaining that to this generation of gamers without sounding like a moron.  Of course everyone who even remotely picked up a video game knows who Mario is.  So take a step back and look at what is fun to you. Look at the collection of games you might have.  Ask a friend what they have at home.  While this media is similar to movies - We all like different experiences.  One may love Call of Duty and plays religiously while another may only be playing World of Warcraft. 

New Semester and way too many games!

So my second semester of math kicked off yesterday and followed up with e-mails to ensure that all my work carried over to my new class and didn't get left behind in the wake of previous semesters ass kicking.  Now I'm all for free time but I find myself surfing the web.  I think it's more like stuck in the web as I find I need to refocus myself to do something other than click from link to link to link to link.  Hell - if there was an experience and progression system tied together with just clicking links and mix a bit of awesome story to why it was happening then we would have an awesome game on our hands. 

So the Dragon Age 2 demo was released last week and that was pure AWESOME. Even if I had no plans on purchasing this game - from a story perspective I believe that Bioware can really bring in a crowd.  The Gameplay has become a lot more responsive and you truly get a sense of exactly how bad-ass your Hawke can be within the first 5 minutes of the demo.  I'm truly excited to mess around with the character progression system and see whats in store for us.  I really hope that how fast you were leveling in the demo stays with actual game release.  I find a ton of fun and enjoyment out of making the character my own and the feeling of getting rewarded for making the choices I make.

This is a bit different as well but i believe everyone who even remotely likes an RPG and owns a DS needs to go find themselves a copy of Radiant Historia.  It pays homage to the class rpg roots and presents it in a neat intriguing little package that screams - "I'm so full of awesome you may need to tell everyone else about me just to feel better"

Next week since I'll be back on track and focused again I'm going to talk about consumer point of view.

Processes and Tea

I've been taking careful notice at the little processes we each do every day.  Some of us call it routines and some of us are simply content not thinking about it.  In each one of these processes I'm starting to try and figure out if there is new and better ways to accomplish the same thing - to innovate in a sense.  One thing that seems to be consistent and watching how people in general do what they do.  I'm not one to pry often but I'm also keen on understanding why. 

Now in basic programming everything comes down to what you need a program to do and exactly how it does it.  Understanding different methods and different perspectives on solving problems makes up the core of any programming.  Appreciate for such things comes when you start to notice these things. 


On a side note - I think everyone should enjoy a nice cup of tea every once in a while.  It's become my morning process.  Right after brushing teeth and before getting to work.

Till next week

Casual Gaming

When most people hear the words "casual" and "gaming" put together they almost immediately think of Facebook games and bejeweled and all its clones.  For the past week and a half or so I've been semi attached to two casual games via my phone.  One is Hero Project and the other is Kingdom Conquest.  Working in the forefront of the gaming industry and allowed to meet various types of consumers.  For the sake of this post we can split them into halves.  One half is the gamers and the other is the casual gamers.  For some reason a majority of these "gamers" frown down upon and even poke fun at the "casual" crowd.  After being able to talk to both schools of thought - which boils down to

a - purchasing new and exciting titles when they release for $60 at retail and keeping it fresh with DLC and other content

b - play and enjoy a couple of free titles on facebook or apps and purchase 10-50 worth of content for that game as time goes on.

Now matter what both of these kinds of gaming do the same thing - entertain us
At the end of each and every day we put our time in to many different experiences and work and relationships with people.  No matter what though the time spent being entertained is vital to creativity and imagination.  Whether its taking a stroll in a museum and experiencing the sights and sounds or even if its taking a stroll through the park.  Entertainment breeds the next generation of entertainment. 

On a side note sorry bout missing mondays post - Marvel vs Capcom 3 released for a midnight launch and that is entertaining

Groundhog Day and loops/Mondays

No not Fruit Loops!  The loops are everywhere, catching us doing just about everything - from sleeping to eating to work and day dreaming.  Now you might be thinking
"Josh - Why Groundhog Day??

Well it's because its a loop

Now one thing on my mind lately is the amount of time management one has to have over time in order to seemingly "complete tasks" and "drive business".  So I had the chance to take a step back over the past couple days off and seriously think about what it is we do to accomplish not just the goals above - but our own goals. 
In Groundhog Day we find our hero trying to make the most of what he knows and the time he has - effectively managing his time better.  However he starts to see the frustration and hopelessness that comes from the same thing day   after  day   after  day. I don't think I know anyone who thinks any particular loops as exciting on its own but I believe that its quite always the context and perception of the one person who experiences them. 

So it's been a while since i mentioned anything with programming and looking at loops and the sheer number of them in even the most basic of games just astounds and amazes me right now.  Now to figure out how to make my own loops that will help me effectively manage my time.

I think monday is a good to post.  See you next week!

Oh January...

While I would love to post and tell everyone the great kinds of progress I have made in school and learning to create interactive media, January has decided to not make that a priority.  The last month was full of early morning and late night inventory counts for multiple store. Completing checklists abound of post holiday recovery and generally maintaining being the person I want to be. Overall I learned nothing new in the past month but I have been very careful to jot down ideas via my phone and a notebook I keep around so that when I do have the ability to put a project together I can.
This current semester I've spent spats of time here and there completing my algebra and statistics course, which has been a wonderful thing since I can work at my own pace.  There is no online lectures, no posts to be made three or more times a week - just homework assignments, reviews and tests.  I'm currently 2 weeks ahead in the program and that gives me a sense of accomplishment, but the goal is to complete 2 semesters worth of math courses within this one 8 week semester.  This week I've taken some well earned days off to spend with the math and bang it out so I can move forward and have the time I want to continue learning C++.

On a side topic my girlfriend got me Beginning C++ through Game programming, Third Edition by Michael Dawson (Check it out here)  I was excited when i first looked through it - however I became even more excited as when I noticed that all the basics I had covered in my Logic and Design class were not only in the book but also covering it in the way I really want to know.  I'm truly looking forward to building and creating something for everyone to enjoy.