I've been having a hard time lately nailing down what I'm doing and how it helps me fit into the set of goals i have for myself. Whether or not those goals are obtainable and justifiable are 2 very different things. I read something, somewhere this weekend that "Goals need to be measured by results within a determined period of time" oohh a checkpoint I get that, totally. However after reading that I immediately though - "who is this douche to tell me how to get what i want?"
After several seconds I couldn't even put a sentence together of what I truly wanted. Happiness and real goals are moving targets - nothing is stagnant. I almost feel like making a set of goals is a different way to live not because of the words and the vision but because of the illusion of a future that it provides. Everyone has some set of goals either realistic or unrealistic. Some people wanna lose fat and others wanna lose weight - talking about those differences are another post.
In all forms of media we see characters with goals and the tale of achieving them. Even if sometimes those characters are us. Alot of questions can be asked of characters in these tales and can even cause one to reflect upon them in good company or alone. Did you ask yourself what kind of person you would be to the environment at the end of Avatar? Were you able to bring yourself to kill Wrex in Mass Effect? if you did you want to immediately reload your save? Did you really crave that revenge at the end of Red Dead Redemption?
Is it just simply escapism for some people? Is it a way to get from life decision to life decision without having all the drama in between? Something like Call of Duty and WOW screams escapism and i can't blame anyone for enjoying the crap out of them - I simply wonder on whether or not they are getting the most they can from their gaming. Or if they even care.
Especially in interactive media I find myself wondering what kind of goals make someone want to move forward and invest any more of their precious time into it. Games that force you to take a hard look at what you'd actually do in a situation is very close to looking in the mirror. Very few of us will ever find ourselves in the seat to make a decisions that affects a grand scale - but even the little things we do in life affect those around us, for good or ill. Sometimes I believe that life moves as fast as I want it to and that sometimes I'd rather not make any progress at all.
Who know what will happen and how the decisions you make affect it. As often as i think it would be wonderful to not have a 44+ hour work week and to focus solely on programming and game design, I think of those around me and the decision I would be making for everyone important to me in my life. What kind of Shepard do I want to be? I will figure out how to make everything work the way i see fit and so should everyone who has gotten to the end of this smattering of thoughts.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Monday's Part 2/Phoenix
Usually when there is a part 2 to something it is usually preceeded by the initial offering. Today was monday and the last post I created with "Monday" what somewhat of a moon or two ago sooooo..
This was a different kind of monday. Not because some giant title was being released the next day, or planning for a midnight launch or even hectic girlfriend/friend/people problems. It was different because I was somewhere different. Now I happen to tell lots of people that perception is 90% of everything. No matter how I try to look at today it's boiled down to different.
Today I had my first Monday in a brand NEW store. I'm in east moriches now and getting to know the people around me and what they are into and what the town is about. In all honesty I moved like 5 minutes away from my old store - It's still enough to create a new feeling. It almost rivals the excitement and nervousness of when I first got my own store. It's uncomfortable and keeps me on my toes - which is a good thing - I perceive myself as someone who doesn't truly do well in his comfort zone.
As I'm posting I realize that I completely missed the entire month of April. You didn't miss much, i was too busy with school, financial aid, meetings, socializing, seeing weird and awesome new things, discussing the possibilities of getting a new store and finally spending 60+ hours last week getting it ready with some of my closest peers. While I miss my free time, I actually feel like a phoenix risen from the ashes - with a chance to burn brighter than ever before.
This was a different kind of monday. Not because some giant title was being released the next day, or planning for a midnight launch or even hectic girlfriend/friend/people problems. It was different because I was somewhere different. Now I happen to tell lots of people that perception is 90% of everything. No matter how I try to look at today it's boiled down to different.
Today I had my first Monday in a brand NEW store. I'm in east moriches now and getting to know the people around me and what they are into and what the town is about. In all honesty I moved like 5 minutes away from my old store - It's still enough to create a new feeling. It almost rivals the excitement and nervousness of when I first got my own store. It's uncomfortable and keeps me on my toes - which is a good thing - I perceive myself as someone who doesn't truly do well in his comfort zone.
As I'm posting I realize that I completely missed the entire month of April. You didn't miss much, i was too busy with school, financial aid, meetings, socializing, seeing weird and awesome new things, discussing the possibilities of getting a new store and finally spending 60+ hours last week getting it ready with some of my closest peers. While I miss my free time, I actually feel like a phoenix risen from the ashes - with a chance to burn brighter than ever before.
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